it's been far too long, old friends. welcome back. to fort meyers, florida, spring training home of the world champion boston red sox. no, you aren't dreaming, we really are the world champions. here's the hot stove recap:
-me-ow, the tigers aren't fucking around. with the addition of dontrelle willis and miguel cabrera, they're looking awfully fierce. what's new, pussycat, indeed.
-johan santana caused a helluva hot stove debate this december. and january. but he's found a home in NY, and on the right side of the tracks, if ya catch my drift. would have been nice to see him at home in the fens, but it's not like we need another dominating pitcher if we want the other teams to at least have some hope (yeah, i went there. never too early for a little trash talk. bring it, suckas.)
-apparently, roger clemens may have done steroids. i'm waiting for the official UN statement. seems that this is clearly a matter of national security. hey congress...no shit!
-curt schilling is fat and his body is breaking down. again, i say...no shit!
-no other really awesome trades...kind of a low-key hot stove. ah well...at least spring training is up and running.
-best headline so far "Braves' Cox admired throughout the game" (go ahead, say it out loud. i won't tell.)
-best deadspin comment so far: "David Wells and four sticks of licorice are the fattest rotation ever."
bring it on. i'm so ready for baseball. lookout japan, here come the world champion boston red sox!
Monday, February 18, 2008
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Some thoughts...
The Red Sox almost indirectly ruined my family tonight. Actually, my dad almost ruined my family. He decided to try to convince me that Josh Beckett had hurt himself on the way to the game, that it happened while I was in my class tonight. My dad and I will not be speaking anytime soon.
The blogging while watching thing...yeah, not so much. Got to focus my positive energy on my boys! Isn't it crazy, how superstitious we sports fans can be? I once dated a guy who said things wouldn't work out since it rained the day of our first date. He said that on the first date. He couldn't believe I thought he was crazy. He thought all sports fans were superstitious about all things. needless to say...it didn't work out, and it wasn't because of the rain.
I'm so pumped for tonight. Beckett vs the Russian Rocket...why russian? Well, they aren't quite as good as the rest of the rockets. They fall apart, they might be a little past their prime and still in use. Maybe you'd send a dog up in a Russian Rocket, but never a human. Go Sox.
The blogging while watching thing...yeah, not so much. Got to focus my positive energy on my boys! Isn't it crazy, how superstitious we sports fans can be? I once dated a guy who said things wouldn't work out since it rained the day of our first date. He said that on the first date. He couldn't believe I thought he was crazy. He thought all sports fans were superstitious about all things. needless to say...it didn't work out, and it wasn't because of the rain.
I'm so pumped for tonight. Beckett vs the Russian Rocket...why russian? Well, they aren't quite as good as the rest of the rockets. They fall apart, they might be a little past their prime and still in use. Maybe you'd send a dog up in a Russian Rocket, but never a human. Go Sox.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Dice-K @ Pettitte
I haven't done this all season, but I think I'll blog this one as it goes.
6:57 - How can you trust a guy who cheated on Halle Berry. This is why, when I watch a game on YES, the TV volume goes all the way down, and I put a little XM music on. Thank god for Lucy, playing the alternative hits of the 90s.
7:03 - So, Tiger Woods likes baseball? Maybe? IT would seem the game isn't on YES (Thank theo.) but on WNGS. I'm not sure that's much better, especially after the random soundless shot of Tiger Woods, and a brief station identification screen. Stupid Yankees networks.
7:12 - Pettitte takes seven pitches to get Dustpans, Youk, and Papi 1-2-3. Nice to hear the biased Yankee announcer acknowledge the ROY season Pedroia is having.
7:18 - Jeter said "shit" on TV. Maybe his herpes are flaring up today.
7:24 - A-rod slides into second. and by second, i mean lugo's ankles. I hate that guy. Not Julio.
7:28 - Gotta walk away for a minute or two. Gonna stop the posting, thinking it's bad karma. Dice-K is having a rough inning, but in true Dice-K form, I have faith he will shake it off and be just fine as soon as he gets out of this one.
until next inning...
6:57 - How can you trust a guy who cheated on Halle Berry. This is why, when I watch a game on YES, the TV volume goes all the way down, and I put a little XM music on. Thank god for Lucy, playing the alternative hits of the 90s.
7:03 - So, Tiger Woods likes baseball? Maybe? IT would seem the game isn't on YES (Thank theo.) but on WNGS. I'm not sure that's much better, especially after the random soundless shot of Tiger Woods, and a brief station identification screen. Stupid Yankees networks.
7:12 - Pettitte takes seven pitches to get Dustpans, Youk, and Papi 1-2-3. Nice to hear the biased Yankee announcer acknowledge the ROY season Pedroia is having.
7:18 - Jeter said "shit" on TV. Maybe his herpes are flaring up today.
7:24 - A-rod slides into second. and by second, i mean lugo's ankles. I hate that guy. Not Julio.
7:28 - Gotta walk away for a minute or two. Gonna stop the posting, thinking it's bad karma. Dice-K is having a rough inning, but in true Dice-K form, I have faith he will shake it off and be just fine as soon as he gets out of this one.
until next inning...
"a fantastic second half"
I'm just so tired of hearing this said about the Yankees. Give me a break...let's take a look at who they've played since the all-star break...Tampa Bay, Toronto, Tampa Bay AGAIN, Kansas City, Chicago, Kansas City, Toronto, Cleveland, Baltimore, Detroit, LAA, Detroit. Are you kidding me? I could put the JV softball team from our school up against those teams and come out with a winning record. The Yankees have not had a fantastic second half. They've had a bunch of games against teams that are mediocre at best. The Cleveland series was a joke...I was so disappointed in the Former Buffalo Bisons. (Seriously, when did Cleveland stop swinging the heavy bats? Talk about a surprise...) Out of the serious contenders, they went 4 - 4 with Detroit, 1-2 with LAA, and swept Cleveland. Good luck, so-called Bombers. Because let's face the facts...you don't have the pitching to make the long haul. And despite the fact that your september looks like an easy coast, the Mariners and the Red Sox will foil the plans of the Evil EMpire. But you just can't call it fantastic baseball. It's not, not by any stretch.
Sox at Yankees, t-minus 30 minutes. Tonight, Dice-K vs Pettitte. Give 'em hell, boys.
And big ups to the AL players of the week, Captain Graybeard and Big Papi.
Sox at Yankees, t-minus 30 minutes. Tonight, Dice-K vs Pettitte. Give 'em hell, boys.
And big ups to the AL players of the week, Captain Graybeard and Big Papi.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Name for a Gnome
So, I have these garden gnomes on my front porch. And two are playing leapfrog; we've named them Hercules and Big Randy. The other is a bobblehead gnome (really fun on windy days) and he hasn't had a name since Franklin and I rescued him from a doomed life at Walgreens. He's carrying some mushrooms, and judging by the look on his face, they just may be of the magical variety. And as I was watching a little Sox action today, the perfect name occurred to me. So next time you find yourself on Crestwood, come introduce yourself to Julian Tavarez, the bobblehead gnome.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
A Study In Optimism, via Instant Messanger
me: so, do you think eric gagne is trying to ruin my life on purpose?
geoff: i think on purpose is a string term
me: string term?
geoff: maybe more of an enjoyable side effect?
me: i hate that guy
me: fucking 3 earned runs on six batter
geoff: jebus
me: yeah, exactly
me: dude is gonna get his ass kicked in boston tonight
me: hope he has good security
me: your next career: eric gagnes body double
me: high risk, but i bet it would be good money.
geoff: its only the next logical step
me: for you and for him
me: i'm really upset with him right now.
me: i bet there's a way i could pin this on steinbrenner though
me: quick, call the conspiracy theorists
geoff: there's always a way to pin it on steinbrenner
me: for real
me: at least we unloaded wily mo today
even after gagne blows a save, there's always a light at the end of the tunnel.
geoff: i think on purpose is a string term
me: string term?
geoff: maybe more of an enjoyable side effect?
me: i hate that guy
me: fucking 3 earned runs on six batter
geoff: jebus
me: yeah, exactly
me: dude is gonna get his ass kicked in boston tonight
me: hope he has good security
me: your next career: eric gagnes body double
me: high risk, but i bet it would be good money.
geoff: its only the next logical step
me: for you and for him
me: i'm really upset with him right now.
me: i bet there's a way i could pin this on steinbrenner though
me: quick, call the conspiracy theorists
geoff: there's always a way to pin it on steinbrenner
me: for real
me: at least we unloaded wily mo today
even after gagne blows a save, there's always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Monday, July 30, 2007
Dating and Baseball..
If I was Alyssa Milano, my life would be a whole bunch easier. First, I'd be a knockout. (Even though Jonathan "ScaryFace" Papelbon has admitted he'd prefer Pamela Anderson.) Second, I'd have a slew of Tony Danza jokes to file in the "Funny-Cause-It's-True" drawer. But mostly, because of this. I've recently decided that if dating was like baseball, my life would be a whole lot easier. And Alyssa Milano dates a lot of ball players. Talk about a fantasy team... (PS, thanks for bringing down carl pavano. Curse of the Babe?!?!)
Anyway, think of the myriad ways in which baseball is better than dating:
...You always know what team the other guy is playing for.
Think about that. No radar required. In giant, color coded letters across his chest, a cute little symbol on his hat, you know just by looking. So smart, when you think about it.
...No one night stands.
Every day, you know who you're playing. And you're guaranteed anywhere from 3 - 19 games with each matchup. Now, having dated more than my fair share of Tampa Bay Devil Ray or Kansas City Royal equivalents, I could certainly see ways in which this strategy backfires. but never again would you have to suffer through the will he call me again garbage.
...Taking one for the team could make you a hero.
Wingmen and wingwomen everywhere, listen up. Has a buddy ever asked you to take one for the team? To sit next to the obnoxious friend who won't stop talking about how cool they are? To dance with the one with no rhythm and wandering hands? Quintessential "Take one for the team" philosophy. But you get plunked with the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth, and all of a sudden, taking one for the team is kind of a glamorous thing.
...10 men on the field at once!
And they're all willing to play the game. There are no hidden strategies (Unless stealing signs is your thing. We've all done it.), everyone is there for the same reason. None of those guys get dragged along. They hit a slump, and they play right through it. They adjust, they finally change their lucky underwear.
...Ichiro. Dice-K. Hideki Okajima. 1 big bat, 2 big pitchers. I'm so not going into details on this one.
...It's possible to lose, and still have a good game.
In my world, there are certain players I'll always root for, no matter what color they wear. Take Adam Stern, for example. He comes up against the Red Sox, and I'm dying for him to hit it out of the park. I mean, I don't want Baltimore to win, that's just crazy. (I don't even think Baltimore wants Baltimore to win, but that's a different post altogether) But I love to see my favorites have a good game, while their team succumbs to the Mighty Mighty Red Sox.
...Guilt Free Home Runs. 'Nuff Said.
...High socks.
No normal guy looks good in high socks. But you put a baseball player in high socks, and all of a sudden, this girl goes a little weak in the knees. Reed Johnson, Ryan Braun, Jason Varitek, even ancient Mike Timlin. Doesn't matter who (Unless it's He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Let's not ruin this post for me.) the high socks always look good. Something about it...
...There's No Crying In Baseball!
Of course, we all know this to be not entirely true. I'm sure at some point in the near future, A-rod (Shoot, I totally just mentioned his name...) will be an official spokesmodel for Kleenex. I mean, he was really upset in the offseason about what happened with him and Jeter. And no one appreciates a good clubhouse fight more than I do (See: Zambrano and Barrett, Lilly and Gibbons, Fielder and Gatorade Cooler.) Baseball is definitely an emotional sport. But in the long run, it's all just water under the bridge.
All in all, if dating was like baseball, I'd be able to analyze statistics, see a player's entire history, their performance under any conditions, and make educated decisions. Is he better against lefties or righties? Home or away? How did he do in the minors? Is he slumping, or swinging a hot bat? I could figure it all out. It would be mathematical, it would be reasonable, and he would be wearing high socks. Why oh why can't life be more like baseball?
Anyway, think of the myriad ways in which baseball is better than dating:
...You always know what team the other guy is playing for.
Think about that. No radar required. In giant, color coded letters across his chest, a cute little symbol on his hat, you know just by looking. So smart, when you think about it.
...No one night stands.
Every day, you know who you're playing. And you're guaranteed anywhere from 3 - 19 games with each matchup. Now, having dated more than my fair share of Tampa Bay Devil Ray or Kansas City Royal equivalents, I could certainly see ways in which this strategy backfires. but never again would you have to suffer through the will he call me again garbage.
...Taking one for the team could make you a hero.
Wingmen and wingwomen everywhere, listen up. Has a buddy ever asked you to take one for the team? To sit next to the obnoxious friend who won't stop talking about how cool they are? To dance with the one with no rhythm and wandering hands? Quintessential "Take one for the team" philosophy. But you get plunked with the bases loaded in the bottom of the ninth, and all of a sudden, taking one for the team is kind of a glamorous thing.
...10 men on the field at once!
And they're all willing to play the game. There are no hidden strategies (Unless stealing signs is your thing. We've all done it.), everyone is there for the same reason. None of those guys get dragged along. They hit a slump, and they play right through it. They adjust, they finally change their lucky underwear.
...Ichiro. Dice-K. Hideki Okajima. 1 big bat, 2 big pitchers. I'm so not going into details on this one.
...It's possible to lose, and still have a good game.
In my world, there are certain players I'll always root for, no matter what color they wear. Take Adam Stern, for example. He comes up against the Red Sox, and I'm dying for him to hit it out of the park. I mean, I don't want Baltimore to win, that's just crazy. (I don't even think Baltimore wants Baltimore to win, but that's a different post altogether) But I love to see my favorites have a good game, while their team succumbs to the Mighty Mighty Red Sox.
...Guilt Free Home Runs. 'Nuff Said.
...High socks.
No normal guy looks good in high socks. But you put a baseball player in high socks, and all of a sudden, this girl goes a little weak in the knees. Reed Johnson, Ryan Braun, Jason Varitek, even ancient Mike Timlin. Doesn't matter who (Unless it's He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Let's not ruin this post for me.) the high socks always look good. Something about it...
...There's No Crying In Baseball!
Of course, we all know this to be not entirely true. I'm sure at some point in the near future, A-rod (Shoot, I totally just mentioned his name...) will be an official spokesmodel for Kleenex. I mean, he was really upset in the offseason about what happened with him and Jeter. And no one appreciates a good clubhouse fight more than I do (See: Zambrano and Barrett, Lilly and Gibbons, Fielder and Gatorade Cooler.) Baseball is definitely an emotional sport. But in the long run, it's all just water under the bridge.
All in all, if dating was like baseball, I'd be able to analyze statistics, see a player's entire history, their performance under any conditions, and make educated decisions. Is he better against lefties or righties? Home or away? How did he do in the minors? Is he slumping, or swinging a hot bat? I could figure it all out. It would be mathematical, it would be reasonable, and he would be wearing high socks. Why oh why can't life be more like baseball?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)